I got up this morning (as opposed to... not getting up or getting up this afternoon, perhaps), went to the toilet (as you do first thing in the morning) and found myself standing there thinking 'jeepers is it me making that noise? Aim for the side of the bowl rather, you're going to wake the neighbors'. I realized after I'd finished though that it wasn't me and that someone was standing on my roof with a hose pipe. No wait it wasn't that either. God was having one fuck off big wee outside. This is getting ridiculous now. I think the dams are full so that's enough rain for this winter. Please leave.
Everything seems to stop when the weather is like this. Even the oke who sells beads under the bridge took the day off. He hasn't done that since the arrival of his only competition - the beggar who stands 10m further down the road.
It's a bad time for rain because it also interrupted the tennis a few times yesterday. How hectic was that tennis? I can safely say that that was the best game I've ever seen, let alone the best final. Imagine being there. Sitting with 14 998 other screaming spectators and Gwen Stefani. What an awesome scene that must have been. Half shouting Roger Roger... The other half shouting Raffa Raffa... and Gwen Stefani. Just sitting there. Looking at her nails. Not clapping, not smiling, not even enjoying herself. Spoiled little girl. The camera's didn't do her any favours but come on. If you're going to go watch the final with your husband who just happens to sit in the family's box next to one of the players' girlfriend, then you should at least act like you're enjoying yourself.
And now, as I have to go play in the rain, I'll sign off.
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