Animals: here, there and everywhere.

Zebra and Giraffe are playing at Assembly tomorrow and if it's anything like their last show it's sure to be a cracker! Not sure about the guys playing after them, though. To me, pressing the play button on a cd player and then dancing around like monkeys with headphones on doesn't qualify as a skill. I mean, my retarded friend timmy can do that and he can't even speak! Anyway, lots of fun is on the way so I'm glad it's weekend... But if history's taught me anything it's that i'll wake up on Monday morning thinking it's Saturday and making promises to take it easy next weekend. Though I know that's not possible this time because next weekend's going to be even more hectic than this one! Oh well, perhaps some 'creative' writing will come from it. Unlike my sauna session last night...

I get into the sauna and holly bemoly it was hot in there. What's that all aboot? Now I know it's the general idea behind saunas but come on mate, surely if your ears start burning and you cant open your eyes, it's too hot? Anyway, my 20 minute brain-storm turned into 3 minutes of hell and I got the hell outta there! Well done sauna, 1-0 to you.

K I'm off to go be muppet master. Will explain that at a later stage... Though I think your imagination can paint you an accurate enough picture.

The death of new runners...

Recent (or not so recent, actually) attempts to introduce a new angle to my writing, failed. I thought, if I can make it as though it's not actually me who's writing, it would be easier to write. Reason being my anonymity no longer exists. So instead I'm resorting back to the single character and am just going to include writing about others. The single character, however, is going to be a pseudonym.

Enter Murray.

I was playing cricket a few years back and for some or other reason a guy in my team thought my name was Murray. I think my reaction resulted in everyone calling me Murray and 4 years later my own mates are introducing me as Murray. Not ideal since I actually quite like my real name and now have friends who can't believe my name's not Murray!

So from here on you'll be reading about what Murray has to say...

Starting with that little hit counter at the bottom. Either it doesn't work accuratly, or there's a really bored person out there who keeps hitting my blog. 11 100 hits in 4 months of not writing is insane! Either way I have new found inspiration to write on this here blog and will hopefully continue to do so on a regular basis.

I'm well aware that this is one of the more boring entries so I'm going to end it off by saying that I had to do this just to explain my new direction...

Peace.

The birth of new Runners.

Due to the lack of content on my site I have decided to introduce a few new runners.

Enter the worker...

The worker is the most dull and boring person on the planet. He has no life and spends his days earning a hard living and dreaming of a better life. His hobbies include: reading comic books, playing Lego, watching cartoons and visiting his friends at the red cross.

I don't know this person, he offered to carry my shopping bags the other day and after trying to talk to him I came to the conclusion that we can all learn from him. When I say learn I, obviously, mean learn how not to live...

Our second introduction goes to the Socializer...

Welcome socializer, lovely to have you on board to add a bit of spice to the race. The socializer is somewhat of an enigma. You just don't know what to expect from this fella. Well I guess you can expect the unexpected and therefor do know what to expect. This guy is a vibe. He will keep you up to date with what's going on around the place. You've all seen him before, he's everywhere, you just don't know it...

Next up it's the thinker.

This remarkable young man doesn't have an IQ. He went to MENSA to do the test and they asked him to leave because they felt threatened. Not settling for that he took the online test and soon after had an NSA helicopter blow up his house. He's smucking fart folks and will spend some time over the next while keeping you informed on anything and everything. He's currently working on a dot-com project that is sure to yield millions.

I think that'll do for now. I don't need an introduction. I'm hectic.

Stay tuned for what these competitors have to say...

5 Steaks and an Eggplant.

5 Steaks and an Eggplant? That probably means fokal (a socially accepted word) to the billions of you reading this but there's hidden meaning in there somewhere, not to worry.

I was fortunate enough to spend 3 awesome weeks with 4 top guys and 1 top girl (there you go) in Thailand over Christmas.

Now, however, I'm sitting at work.

With no top guys or girls.

Just me.

Sic.

To add to that I came back to a world where I'm in serious debt! My new-years resolution: Whatever. Deal with it. I'm going to steal some wise words from Churchill and say that this year I'm not going to float, I'm going to sail! Not sure how that applies to what I've been saying but... Whatever. The glass is half full. Actually that's a load of balderdash. The glass being half full or half empty depends on a number of things. The most obvious being whether it's being filled up or emptied out. If you not sure of which then the answer would be... 42. Why is that such a common question in interviews? Id love to walk into an interview and just take the interviewer for a ride.

Interviewer: Is the glass half full or half empty?
Me: Yes.
I: What do you mean yes? Thats not one of the options.
M: Ok. 42,then.
I: Again that's not an option. It's either half full or half empty.
M: Yes.
I: Well which is it then?
M: Fantastic.

It's such a stupid question. What's in the glass? If it's a glass of cat piss then I'd have to say it's half empty. Coca Cola on the other hand I'd like to say the glass is half full. There really aren't enough variables in the question. I reckon the correct answer could actually be undefined.
I'll run it by the brains trust/financail advisor later and keep you posted.

Return of the King

I got over writing on this blog, in case you were wondering, but now I'm over being 'over it'. So until I'm over being over being 'over it', random groupings of words shall magically appear on this screen. It won't be me writing, though. I've decided to leave my doppelganger (write that down) in charge.

Expect the unexpected.
Any 'structure' that once existed has gone out the window.
From now on it's just random.

Starting with...

My apartment smells of rich mahogany. (A word not found in the MS Word thesaurus - a tool facebook should implement for an alarmingly large number of users)

So there you have it, rusty at best but it's a start.